Requiem: Cloud of thoughts that rained ink unto paper.



  Requiem

  Cloud of thoughts that rained ink unto paper.

  Dr. Amr Magdi Moneib

  © All Rights Reserved

  Requiem: Cloud of thoughts that rained ink unto paper

  Amr Magdi Moneib

  ISBN 9781301512799

  To Mum and Dad for their love and guidance. To Noura and Sofia for being my life and the center of my universe. To my brothers Muhammad, Ali and my friend Hashem who said I shouldn’t go through with this.

  It is here

  The unheard of

  Scene 1

  It is autumn, the leaves are falling, the sky is almost grey, and for R, loneliness had become his mate. It seems he had no one to talk to. He's leading the kind of life where his work and music are his life. He's a teacher for 10 years now. He's 34. He teaches English and he loves playing the violin everyday back home. He spends hours and hours listening to music and dreaming. 

  In the building's hall

  R: "Good morning"

  The Super: "The water charges sir, everybody has already paid"

  R: " Yeah, okay, how much is my share anyway?"

  The Super: "Don't forget to pay for the electricity as well"

  R: to himself " Oh my god, this guy is an idiot, he would never listen, would he?"

  R: to the super " That's okay, how much money do u want me to pay?"

  The Super: "You know, Mr. K. says you didn't pay last month's bill as well"

  R: "Here's a cheque, is 300± enough, is it enough?", handing the super a cheque.

  The Super: "They say it's your fault Miss D's car went on fire"

  R: "What? Who the hell is miss D and how would it be my fault? What fire are you talking about?"

  The Super: "Thanks a lot Sir, have a good day"

  Scene 2

  R took his car, he couldn't believe his conversation, he's been lonely and that's a fact but even in his darkest dreams, he never had such an unexplainable conversation. He listened to music through his way. He never liked to listen to people singing. For him it was such a stupid thing to do to sing. It was very annoying for him to listen to others voices. "it only gives me headaches," he said.

  In school, 

  In the teachers lounge.

  R: to himself: "I just wanna lay on my desk for an hour, Just read for an hour, It's this 19th century novel, it's amazing, I can't put it down. Good thing the class starts at 10"

  Miss Arts: "Good morning R How did you spend your night?"

  R: "stuff"

  Miss Arts: "I went out with Mrs. Latin, and Miss History last night, we went to this amazing bar. You know where many people go these days. You'd never imagine what happened"

  R: to himself "Who On earth said I cared"

  Miss Arts: "Miss French was there and she was together with Mrs. Latin's husband and oh my God they were kissing"

  R: to himself, not even acting interested " Can't I just read my book?"

  Miss Arts: "Mrs. Latin went on crying for hours and he just told her that he's leaving her, just like that..."

  R: interrupting her " Excuse me miss Arts, Could you just excuse me for a while, I just have many gradings to do..."

  Miss Arts: interrupting him “the bastard she kept saying, he's been cheating on me, and this slut..."

  Mr. Geography: "How are you doing Miss Arts? I love your dress"

  Miss Arts: "Really, I bought it from the store last week, It's a GoGo"

  Mr. Geography: "You're kidding me, my shirt is a GoGo too"

  R: to himself "Great, now I can read my book"

  Mr. Geography: "So how much is this shirt of yours R, you know I've seen a similar one yesterday, a hobo was wearing it..." Interrupting himself by laughs

  R: "It was a gift from my late wife"

  Mr. Geography: " You know you're so cheap R, with the salary of yours you can afford a GoGo as well"

  R: "I love this shirt, I told you it was a gift from my wife"

  Miss Arts: "It looks like a tablecloth, a rag if you know what I mean." Giggling

  R: "Can you just leave me do my work?"

  Mr. Geography: "Dude, would you order us some coffee, I have this headache, Thanks a lot."

  R: "God?"

  Scene 3

  R failed with his reading, another hour lost in his lonely life, ever since his wife died, he found no one to talk to. They don't understand anyway. They never will. He doesn't care for their understanding either. He didn't even try. God damn this cancer that took S from his arms. She was the only person who spoke his language.

  In the classroom

  R: to the class, holding another book in his hand " So when we mention classical literature, I'd like you to read this book by J.L. and enjoy his sense about music and arts. You'd learn a lot from this book.

  Student 1: to student 2 "What was the score last night"

  Student 2: to student 1 "4 - nil, did you go out with Student 3 yet?"

  Student 1: to student 2 "No, maybe tonight, Have you seen the Q movie"

  R: "Guys, if you're not interested, you can leave, no hard feelings, I need to work with the rest of the class." Now whispering " I don't think the rest are listening to me anyway"

  Student 3: to student 4 "He's cute, isn't he"

  Student 4: to student 3 "Yeah, did he tell you he loved you"

  Student 5: to student 6 " Man I wrecked my old man's car"

  Student 6: to student 5 "that's awesome, did he let you buy that stereo"

  Student 7: to himself "What am I doing here, I'd rot in hell for that, you non believers, I hate you, I will fucking kill you, me and my brothers"

  Student 8: to student 9 and 10 "Guys, I have a secret to tell you, I am pregnant"

  Student 9: responding " No way, your father will kill you"

  Student 10: "You need an abortion, don't worry I know someone, are you coming with me to the beach this weekend"

  R: still whispering "God, I can't take it..."

  He rushed out of the class room clinging his book to his chest and ran too fast. Every body went on with their talks. The students didn't notice.

  Scene 4

  R ran so fast on the stairs, his mind was confused, it was blurry around him but he kept running. He's up to the roof before he knew it. He's been up six stories in like a second. He opened the door and kept walking.

  R: to himself "God, I can't take it anymore. I am weak. S, why did you leave me? I only lived for you."

  The Janitor: from behind " Mr. R, How are you, would you give the old man a help and carry some of these boxes with me downstairs"

  R: to the janitor, one step closer to the edge " I just need a moment here, I need some fresh air,"

  The Janitor: "The guys are waiting for me downstairs, they can't wait for long, the clock is ticking, and money, you know."

  R: shouting " I told you I need a moment here, so fuck off with your boxes"

  The Janitor: calmly " Mr. R, come on here, hold these two boxes and go downstairs, right to the left you'll find the van."

  R: louder "I told you to fuck off"

  The Janitor: "The clock is ticking Mr. R"

  R: now crying "leave me alone"

  The Janitor: "they are waiting Mr. R"

  R: crying "Please, just leave me alone"

  The Janitor: "Thanks a lot Mr. R, I'll be waiting for you downstairs, take care with the boxes, they are a bit fragile"

  R jumped off the roof and the only thing he had in mind, heading to his death, he never got to finish the novel he liked, somehow he got to put it down at last.  

  The parting

  What happened?

  Where am I
?

  I have a severe headache.

  My eyes are blurry.

  Oh God, What's wrong with me?

  This headache is, ah, is I can’t, no I just can't, ah.

  Now, what happened.

  I just feel better.

  Actually I feel great.

  The headache is gone.

  Now I can open my eyes.

  Oh my God, what is that?

  Who are all those people?

  Why are they looking that way?

  What the fuck are they doing?

  Who's that lying on the bed over there.

  Isn't that

  Me?

  What is that?

  What the hell does this dream mean?

  It is a dream, Isn't it?

  Wake up

  Wake up

  Fuckin' wake up...

  Why I am not waking up?

  Hey,

  Hey you.

  I am talking to you.

  Can't you hear me?

  What is this your giving me?

  Are you trying to kill me?

  Is it a drug?

  Why are you people leaving him do this to me?

  Why am I that pale?

  I am not breathing.

  Am I dead.

  Why? What happened?

  They are weeping.

  I don't wanna leave you darling.

  Son, Why are they taking me away from you?

  I didn't have enough time!

  Why can't I do anything?

  Why am I just watching them letting me go?

  Mum, Dad, what's wrong?

  Do something, You always did, I love you so very much.

  Please do something.

  Son, oh no, God no.

  Just for him.

  He needs me.

  Don't you, Son?

  I know you can't talk, but do something, just blink.

  NOOOOOOOOOOOO

  HEELPPPPP!!!

  What?

  Who are you?

  What do u mean It's over?

  Why can I talk to you and not to others?

  What angel?

  What do you mean?

  No, please. I just wanna have more than one more day, more than just few extra moments.

  Hell no. I need more time than that.

  Why are you saying I can't?

  Please.

  God, I wasted my time.

  Okay, Okay.

  I'll do that.

  But will they be able to hear me?

  What do you mean they can't?

  What do you mean they can't hear me?

  How on earth they'll know it in their hearts when they can't fuckin' hear me?

  Okay, Okay. 

  I am sorry

  I'll watch my language.

  How on earth they'll know it in their hearts when they can't hear me?

  Promise?

  Do you really promise that they'll know it in their hearts?

  Okay.

  One more question.

  Will you tell me who you are?

  What do u mean by a traveler who had the same journey before?

  What Journey?

  What do you call Home?

  The afterlife you mean?

  Ah, now I understand.

  Okay Okay, I'll wipe my tears and I'll start talking.

  But see they are crying for me.

  They were next to me.

  Okay Okay I won't waste any more time.

  Dad, I loved you so much, you showed me everything. Everything I knew was because of you. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for letting me be me. Thank you for letting me make my mistakes. Thank you for your advice. Thank you for standing behind me all through the way Thank you for thinking of me before yourself. You were the best father ever. Too bad I was such a selfish son. Please forgive me. I really did love you.

  Mum, what can I say? I'd cry the most for not being able to talk to you. You are just mum. The shoulder I cried on, the prayers that kept me going, the voice that kept me happy, the embrace that kept me warm, loving you is never enough. Please don't be sad. You are the best, my mum my friend my eternal love.

  Brothers and sisters, Guys and girls, I will miss you all, I will miss your talks, our games, our little chitchats. I will miss when we went to movies together, when we went hunting together. I will miss our fights, our shouting, our punches as much I will miss our hugs. I love you all please take care of Son.

  Wife, Too bad the road was short. I promised you eternity but apparently eternity was not that far. Yeah, I know I tricked you. But I swear to God I didn't know. Maybe I was tricked as well. But you know what, I cherish every moment, every second I spent with you, If it were for me I wouldn't let death do us part. But as you know. We only serve. We only obey. God knows best. I believe in God. And I believe I love you. I think God will keep an eye on you for me. Okay Okay I won't cry. Honey, take care of Son. He's me and you. I miss you both, I hold you both so tight. I'll be watching you. Be happy, do that for me.

  Son, I know you are just too small to understand, I wanted to show you everything, the way dad showed me. I always dreamt of dancing in your wedding. Kissing your wife on the forehead for her becoming my daughter. The one you chose for your ever after. I am sorry I won't be there. Please remember this, be good to your mother, she's a good woman and she loves you the most. Enjoy your life to the fullest but remember God for he is watching us to know how much we love him. Show him how much we love him in the way you treat your mother and the way you choose how your life should turn out to be. I won't tell you be good to all people, most people around just need their asses kicked, funny to laugh at this moment, anyway, I wanted to say that some people are just great, are worth knowing, these people make the ride worth going; be good to them, for they love you and they will wish you the best; be good to those. Others, you'll know how to deal with them. I won't tell you you have to be a doctor or a rocket scientist, be yourself, maybe a writer, a musician, a painter, a dancer or a religious scholar. Just have only this in mind. Be dignified enough to live life the way you talk. Practice what you preach. Don't be a hypocrite, don't be a liar, don't fear anybody for they are only servants in this life the way we all are. Remember me, I love you my Son whom I never had too much time with. I'll be between the sun rays that hit your eyes and the air molecules that will touch your hair. I really really hope I'll find a place in your heart.

  God, Here I am, your servant, the sinner, the son of the sinner, the son of the sinner. I humbly lie in-front of You. I know I was not that much of a good servant. I had missed so many prayers. I treated poor people badly. I shouted at my mother and father. I swore at my neighbors. I envied others for things You gave them, when I had so many things in my own hands. I was never thankful. I was never obedient. I was so stupid. I knew I was not eternal yet I acted like one. God what did I do? Can I say I am sorry. I am such a wicked soul. I deserve whatever You'd do to me. But I beg You, for You are the most merciful. I beg You never to forsake me. I beg You to forgive me. For I have been Your disobedient servant, yet Your slave and worshipper. Forgive me God, Father, Allah, whatever You call Yourself for I have sinned.

  Requiem for Roqaya

  Chapter 1

  "Ya welad el kalb [Son of a bitch]" said Amina "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

  "7aram 3aleikom (Fuck) "

  "E7'rasy ya weleya we etnayely 3ala 3einek ewledy (Shut your fucking mouth and start pushing)" said the young doctor sitting in front of her, waiting to deliver her new baby.

  She became sweaty and she seemed like someone who's leaving the real world, with her eyes starting to gaze up to the ceiling of this filthy room, also know as the village's polyclinic.

  "Yala ba2a ya weleya e7na mesh fadyenlek warana ash3'al (Hurry up bitch)" said the nurse standing beside Amina.

  "Ana 7awareelo ibn el kalb, 3ashan yefdal bardo bey2ool 3ayez el wad, gato seteen neela, 7aywreth eih insha2allah, 3'
eir fa2ro (It's all his fault, my husband the son of a bitch, Just because he needs a boy, I am not going to stop)", Amina shouted out loud

  Zaki, the village's electrician, who makes 132 pounds a month which is only about 20 dollars, the father of 6 girls, insists he should have a boy, to carry on the legacy of his family and their name around. So he always resisted the calls of TV announcements and those of these fancy fat ladies who come to their village every now and then; whose visits are always coinciding with municipal and parliamentary elections, to talk about family planning.

  Amina, now 22, who dropped out of school at the age of 10 to make room for her younger brother Hassan, due to money shortage. Now a servant in "El omda" "the village chief’s house. Is the mother of 6 girls. With depleted body and health always wanted to get her husband the boy he needs to avoid these embarrassing comes across with her mother in law, who always blame her on failing to provide Zaki with his awaited prince.

  Now, Amina is facing her 7th delivery, an experience she's quiet used to in her 5 years of marriage. Sweaty, breathing what seems to her like her last breath, in a very hot smelly room, with people around awaiting her next push, and her mother in law peeking through the broken window waiting to take the first glance at the newly arriving prince's penis.

  5 minutes later, Roqaya meets the world. To the shock of all those in the filthy delivery room, the awaited penis turns out to be the non-expected female organ.  

  “Ya Lahwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay” (Dammn) Screams both Amina and her mother in law at the same time. Maybe, the first time in both their lives they share the same sentiment in a single moment. Now the dream of the awaited prince is over.

  The mother of law runs all over the village to tell her son about the disaster that had just showed up.  

  Zaki was in his workshop when his mother came, shouting out loud, “ el7a2na ya Zaki, shoof el moseeba ely makanetsh 3al bal, ya neelet ba7’tak yabny (Help!! Zaki, may God mercy you, poor soul, for He gave you a disaster)”. He got to know about the arrival of his baby daughter, a piece of news he met with smashing the glass of tea he was holding on the wall.